Ladies' Man

by Shiri
(Based on "Piano Man" by Billy Joel)
This parody was inspired by the, um, interesting replies that came to the thread "A New Pic" posted by me; it was about a picture of Jehan that Alikhat drew, and it created a little bit of a stir about The Self-Proclaimed Fool's...cuteness...

(Scene: A tavern, the Goose and Grapes (owned by Therese). CLOPIN is playing the piano to the tune Piano Man. The visitors of the forum are listening as he sings:

CLOPIN: It's nine o'clock in CGB forum
A new pic has been posted
There's a crowd gathering 'round it
A few are slightly agog
They say, "Gee, he's real cute, I never noticed
I'm not really sure why I fell
And I know he is Shiri's and I know it well
But that won't stop me from lookin'."

Oh, la--lala--diddyda--lala--diddyda--diddydum

(He goes into storytelling mode at the chorus)

Jehan came in a little while ago
His smiles all for Shiri
Well he found that she had been poisoned
And the culprit knew which herbs were right.

Now Coquirie is known as an herbalist
She gets all the ingredients she can
And she quick with a fact, or a specification
But it seems there's more motivation here
She says, "I know Jehan is too young for me-"
As a smirk was playing 'cross her face
"Well I'm sure that I could make a love potion
If I could stop staring at his face."

Oh, la--lala--diddyda--lala--diddyda--diddydum

Jehan went to talk to Coquirie
He was quite in discomfort
Well he found that she had been lethally beaten
And the weapon was a wreck of a violin

And Jhrinti was the first suspect
After she admitted her musical talent
Yes, it's obvious she was the guilty one
The same age was too much of a lure

(Musical interlude)

Jehan tried to talk some sense into Jhrinti
On the scene there was a big fight
Well he couldn't tell who was fighting who
Until Jhrinti fell with a quill through her heart

It's almost a shock to see Tatyana
A self-satisfied smirk on her face
'Cuz she seemed to be the easiest one to agree
To him being taken already

And she never saw the Winter Flower
Sneaking up on her with a knife!
And with one fell swoop, Lily finished the coup
And said, "Man, this has taken too long!"

Oh, la--lala--diddyda--lala--diddyda--diddydum

Still there was the girl that had the rope
Who pulled the noose real tight
When the murder was through Jehan gave her a kiss
And said, "Melisande, you always know how to make everything right."

The End

Note: This parody was something funny I thought up in retaliation to those moving in on my guy. No offense, girls. I mean no real harm to anyone. I couldn't keep a straight face the whole time I was writing it. *g* :)

This work may not be copied, reposted, or used without the author's permission

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