At The End Of The Test

(A parody of "At the End of the Day" from the musical Les Miserables)

By Shiri

For all those who have suffered through final exams, and are still suffering through them...

At the end of the test you're another three-hours older
And your hand is so cramped you can't bend your wrist
It's a struggle, it's a war
And there's no answers that anyone's giving
And so what are we
Studying for?
One day less to be coherent!

At the end of the year it's nothing but studying
Review till your brains ooze out of your head
And the teachers say they're wise
They don't hear the students crying
And the test date is coming up fast
Ready to kill
One day nearer to failing!

At the end of the day there's praying everywhere
All because it's the very last day of class
Like the phantom of death looming ahead
Like the dread of summer school
There's a terror in the air
There's a long essay to be written
There's gonna be hell in that room
On the day of the test!

At the end of the test you get relief for nothing
Scribbling facts that might not even be right

There is a bed back at home

And I wish I could be in my bed

And I have to study more

With no chance to get to bed

And we're saying our prayers!

1st GIRL
Have you seen the requirements for the essay today?
With 500 words and a strong thesis too

2nd GIRL
It's because they want us to die this way

3rd GIRL (looking at list of exam dates)
Take a look at that scedule! After tomorrow I won't be able to stand!

4th GIRL
And the teachers, they don't know
That the students are always on edge
Watch how we go--
We'll be going insane!

At the end of the year it's the same old thing!
Get out for Summer just to return in the Fall!
When the teacher is in a bad mood
He will fail you as long as he's able
Even if you studied long into the night
And nearly fell asleep at the breakfast table
When you've studied away the day
You could just fail anyway!

ENGLISH TEACHER (as a boy hands a note to her)
And what have we here little innocent student?
C'mon, dearie, let's see your notice
"Dear Ms Teacher, you must excuse Rob from the test
After too much studying, his mind is not there to lose"

Give me that note, what is this ridiculous business?
With an excuse like this, one I've never heard before
Is there anyone here who can say they have
Ever seen this kind of absurdity before?

Would someone care to explain to me
What this attempt is all about?
This is a final, not a death sentence.
C'mon, students, buckle down!
We run a place of intellect
There is no reason to complain
We look to you to use your brains
And do the best that you can

MATH TEACHER (angrily, to boy)
Now get back to your exam!

(inside the room)
1st GIRL
At the end of this test I'll be lucky to remember
Who I am and if I live down town
There's got to be another way
Maybe there's work I can do for extra--
Maybe find a way to be exempt from this test
(miserably) And I think it's too late

1st BOY
Yes, it's true I slacked off, all during the year
And I know I should have studied more
Now I see that it is the end of my life
And I'll pay for the price
Of never cracking the book!

At the end of the tests we would hope to celebrate
And it should be a joyous occasion at that
But when we get the final report,
We're the ones with the graying hair
They must send the grades out late
Or else it will ruin our summer
It's us that have to pay
At the end of the grading!

I might have known they would try to fight
I might have known they'd mess up a clause
I might have guessed some have cheated
Ah, yes, the pathetic students
Who keep their papers so neat and clean
Look, there's an ink splotch on that page
My goodness, what a shame
Be as tidy as they might
They'll never get it right!

NERVOUS GIRL (outside test room)
They'll be laughing at us while they're grading papers

They'll show us no mercy again and again
We must riot today--!

(A TEACHER steps out of the room and motions for them to enter, a smirk on her face)
Right, my students
On your way!

I hope you all enjoyed finals start Tuesday, 5/17...I'll make sure to give a copy of this to all my teachers. =)

This is the first in a series of Les Miz parodies that I am going to attempt to do

This work may not be copied, reposted, or used without the author's permission

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