Posted February14, 1998

Phantom of the Opera Parody

ACT TWO


A week later the investigations were called off. A horrible accident, that was all, simply an accident...And the show had to go on. They managed to cast a new Buquet. Everyone was shaken. Three missing cast members, a fourth dead...but they had to go on.
Once again Clopin was standing around studying the time schedule. They were very far behind now. He was so worried that day that Irene had taken his place in the rehearsal -- Mme. Firmin, that would be! He paced nervously, while the "Masquerade" number echoed through the theatre. He tugged at the collar of his white silk shirt. They could not afford any more incidents. Rex came bounding off the stage toward him -- having just handed his role over to one of the remaining male understudies, Russell. "It's going well today," he stammered.
Clopin nodded shortly, commenting distantly, "Aye, that's why we both gave away our roles..."
Rex frowned, then sighed. "At this point the cast and crew need the full attention of the directors."
Clopin nodded in agreement. He focused on the stage, where Phantom was descending the staircase, his movements jerky and forced, not as they had been practiced before. Clopin shook his head sadly. "I am worried about Jehan...I don't see much of him outside of rehearsals, and then he never takes off that mask during them -- like he's trying to hide his grief behind it."
"We are all worried," Rex put in. "And he was closest to both girls." He grimaced. "I don't think anyone minds Johann's absence."
"I should have given that role to Hans in the beginning," Clopin said curtly.
They watched, grim, as the scene drew to a close.

* * * * * *

Later the cast members were conferring on the show's progress. They had decided to dedicate the production to Lily and Shiri -- and prayed no other cast member would disappear.
Mr J took Rayven aside while the others headed to the dressing rooms. She above all others had become withdrawn and silent. He knew that she knew something, though. Rayven, however, wanted to keep her frightened suspicions to herself. "Please, don't ask me -- I know as much as the others." She tried to dodge past him, but he grabbed her arm.
"No, you know something -- you always know something more." Mr J frowned sadly. "For Shiri's sake..."
"A-All right." She glanced around warily, then leaned close. "Our Phantom isn't the one we started out with."
"What?" Mr J gave a start, then calmed. "Oh, you mean he has changed because of the disappearances." He sighed. "Then you don't know--"
"No, I mean his aura," she interrupted. "Whoever he is, it is not Jehan. The aura is completely different."
Mr J stared for several moments before stuttering, "But if it isn't Jehan, then who...And when did they switch?!"
Rayven shook her head, without an answer.

* * * * * *

Clopin and Rex were neurotic opening night. The cast was in better shape -- good thing the directors had handed off their roles! The first Act went smoothly. Even Phantom seemed back in sync.
Clopin became nervous by the time Scene 7 of Act Two came around, even though there had been no mishaps concerning Buquet. Zora was Christine for the opening, alternating the role with two other understudies for the show's run. The scene went well. He was breathing more easily as it reached its climax. But then there was something about Fantine's bloodcurdling scream...
"He's really dead!!"
All the color drained from Clopin's face. The theatre broke into pandemonium. No! Not again!
"Oh my God, my God," someone, Rex, was chanting.
"We're ruined! Ruined!" Clopin found himself howling. A group had formed around the body even while the professional medics tried to help poor Hans.
"Mr Jester! Mr Jester!" Rayven was calling amidst the din.
He fought his way over to her. "What?"
"I saw where he went! Come with me!" she begged.
"Of course!" He nodded. "Now to end this wicked game!"

* * * * * *

Zora was terrified. She had realized too late that this Phantom wasn't Jehan. But there had been nothing she could have done. Now he was dragging her down a dark tunnel, with her hands bound before her and a gag muffling her voice. Dragging her off to where he had put the other missing cast members, she reasoned. If any of them were still alive...

* * * * * *

Mr J and Rayven collected a mob on their way down into the tunnels. But the way became too narrow and they could only go one at a time through a narrow opening. Mr J was the first out, and he raced ahead.
He screeched to a halt when he came into a large cavern. His jaw dropped -- what was this doing below the theatre?! Frollo might like it down here, he thought briefly as he scanned the dungeon-like atmosphere. The far wall was lined with shackles at two- and six-feet intervals -- and one set was occupied. Mr J peered through the dimly lit area. It was Jehan! Slumped against the floor with his arms pinned up. Mr J looked around frantically. Where were the three leading ladies, and Johann?
He cautiously ventured out, watching as much as he could for a trap or an ambush. He passed just close enough to Jehan to see the nasty gash across the prisoner's forehead; he would need the key to set him free. He rounded a bend, then stopped short. Lily and Zora, both unconscious, leaned against the wall, their hands bound in front of them. Mr J took out his pocket knife and cut the ropes. He gave each a shake to try to wake them. At least they are free, he thought. He kept the knife in hand as he continued walking, ever so cautiously now, into a new tunnel. He was afraid of what condition he would find Shiri in.
Reinforcements weren't too far behind, he knew. The others would be at the cavern any moment now-- His thoughts were abruptly interrupted as something snagged around his throat -- a noose! Mr J frantically wedged a hand between the rope and his neck. His gaze darted around as he tried to find the source of the trap. He heard a relieved cry to his right. He managed to twist around to see who it was. His anger made him draw a sharp breath.
Shiri had her back to the wall, cowering before the false Phantom, but a fury showed in her eyes and expression that held the villian in check. Phantom turned to regard his newest visitor. "If it isn't rehearsals, it's intruders," he grunted.
Mr J's eyebrows knit. Didn't he know that voice? Now that he knew it wasn't Jehan's...He made a show of struggling, letting out little gagging sounds. The false Phantom, satisfied that this new problem would quickly be resolved, turned back to Shiri. His leer was apparent below the edge of the mask. Shiri's eyes widened in fear and she pressed her back tighter against the wall. Her horrified gaze went from Phantom to Mr J.
She looks more afraid for me than for herself! Mr J thought. He ended his act with a drawn out gasp-choke, meanwhile holding up his knife for Shiri to see. Her expression firmed up then, becoming one of anger. Forcing her breath hard as in rage she screeched at the Phantom, "You murderer!" She had not seen Jehan nor Lily and Zora, but she knew that something had happened to the former two.
"Yeah, murderer and more," he said with a nasty chortle. He didn't hear the quiet snap of the rope as Mr J cut it. The false Phantom suddenly rushed forward to grasp Shiri's shoulders. He tried to kiss her even as she fought viciously. His shadow blotted out the light, she couldn't see -- and then he fell backward away from her with a choking sound. Shiri looked up from her huddle to see him scrabbling at his neck, and the re-placed noose. She had never seen Mr J look so grim.
In truth Mr J didn't really want to kill the false Phantom. After sufficently incapacitating the villian he used the rope to bind the fiend's hand behind his back, then shoved him onto his face. Then Mr J went over to Shiri to help her up. She was badly shaken, pale and weakened. Mr J gently supported her as he led her out to the main cavern. The rest of the mob had arrived, and the two girls and Jehan had been revived. Jehan, although much weaker than Shiri, hugged her with all his might when she ran to him.
"Who, then?" Rex asked. He and Clopin traded horrified glances. Six casts members either dead or close to death, and the killer had slipped past them!
The false Phantom was literally dragged out on his knees. Clopin yanked off the mask. There were only a few startled gasps. Everyone else wore grim, knowing looks. "Johann." Clopin said through clenched teeth.
"You all made a mistake by ignorin' me the first time!" the false Phantom cried out drunkenly, dazed from Mr J's attack. "I know best! I should rule the Cour--"
He was interrupted by a vengeful kick in the mouth from Jehan. Johann's lip split and he nearly swallowed a tooth. He coughed it out as he was hauled to his feet. "I'll ge' ya yet!!" he slurred as he was dragged away.
Shiri left Jehan to Rayven's care and turned to Mr J. "My hero," she smiled, then gave him a grateful kiss. He grinned after she drew back. "Thank you. I owe you."
"Buy me dinner after opening night," he replied with a wink.
"The cast party," she laughed. She scurried off to baby Jehan and whimper about his wounds just to keep him from whining.

* * * * * *

The second opening night went muh better, with all of the original cast members back -- well, except for Piangi and Buquet. There was much laughter and happiness at the party afterward, mostly about the fact that for an encore the Phantom had proposed to Carlotta.
Rex clinked his glass against Clopin's in light of their success. "What show should we do next, hmm?"
Clopin did not hesitate before saying, "Les Miserables. I quite admire the work of that Hugo fellow."


Line up, Take a Bow, Close Curtain!



I hope Lily, Zora, Hans, and Mr J didn't mind me endangering their characters. ,-) Again my apologies to those who didn't get a specific mention. For anyone who doesn't know, Johann was a guy who came into the forums one day and proclaimed he was King of the Court and everyone had to bow down before him...Suffice to say he was banned real quick. ;-) He has been the source of jokes for a while, as in my tale of a troll and Fantine also has a story involving him.
I hope you enjoyed this...The HoND Theatre Company shall return in other productions as I get inspired for them! =-D


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(c) 1998-2004 Autumn Loweck. This work may not be copied, distributed, or reprinted without the author's permission. All characters are property of Autumn Loweck (aka Shiri), unless specified otherwise, and may not be "borrowed" or mentioned in other works without notifying the author first