Whisper a Dream

[Author's Note: Let's see, this Note is jumbled... *sorts it into parts* Making fun of the dub again, of course. | I'm a sucker for mysticcy stuff, so when I read about newtypes and the Spaceheart (or "soul of outer space" - stupid dub. ;P ), I just couldn't resist. ^_^ And a special note: I wrote this chapter before I saw ep 26, so, heeh... ^_^;; | I wasn't planning on writing a fantastic fic to begin with, just wanted to get a feel for the chars and such, which is why the chapters have been in bits and pieces and short sections. | Pardon the lapse into Japanese, "Quatre-sama" *is* the equivalent of "Master Quatre" but it didn't fit right to me. | Lastly...at NO point in this story is anyone nekkid, thank you! -_-; (you owe that warning to my younger sister for being a dubious reader...) ]

Chapter Two
Snow and Sand


The snow melts away...
And sand sifts forever through time.


Sooner than you think.


"OZ is moving around the desert too much, it's starting to make me nervous!" Abdul glared over the rim of his sunglasses at the map displayed on the observatory room's main screen. Over two dozen X's marked where the enemy had been stationed for more than a day; several of them blinked, showing that each particular group had traveled within the last few hours.
Auda leaned casually on the control panel. "As long as they aren't heading for this town right this minute, we have nothing to worry about."
Hey, get way from that!" Abdul frantically waved him off from the row of buttons a mere twitch from his hand.
"Huh! Sorry!" Auda scrambled to stand up straight.
"Nevermind..." the other grumbled, turning back to the keyboard, typing in coordinates to track more of the OZ forces. "Man, I wish we could just go out and destroy them all before they cause any grief!"
"No." A third figure had silently entered the room, and was now leaning against the side wall, head down. "We will only fight if the mission says to, or to defend ourselves should they attack first."
"Of course, Master Quatre," Abdul stammered. He looked helplessly at Auda, who merely shrugged.
A distraction came as the console beeped an alert. "Huh? What's this??" Abdul typed in a frenzy, trying to get the alert to stop. A new object had appeared amongst OZ's playing field. "Something is -- whoa!" Within seconds, five X's simply disappeared from the screen. Even Quatre looked up now.
Auda finished the rest of the exclamation. "Something is taking out the OZ troops!"
Quatre stepped over to another keyboard, meanwhile thinking to himself, It could be a gundam. "Can we bring it up on screen?"
"I'm trying, I'm trying!" But nothing Abdul typed would show any more detail other than the information that a large type of mobile suit was wreaking havoc on OZ. "Nothing! It's blocking all tracking signals!"
Quatre watched the screen thoughtfully. Duo's gundam has a stealth feature... Abruptly he whirled on his heel and hurried out of the room, calling back, "I'm going out there!"
Abdul and Auda scrambled after him. "Wait for us!" They dashed right past the two guys who were next on shift without explanation.

Quatre wasted no time getting Sandrock to the North Gate, the only direction clear of OZ. The supposed other gundam had last been fighting in the vicinity of the East Gate. He confirmed this before heading off. He didn't bother to wait for the Maguenacs, already knowing they all would follow shortly.
When he finally reached the place of battle, at first all he saw were bits and pieces of OZ mobile suits. An explosion somewhere to his left revealed that the fighting had moved over the next sand dune. As he crested the ridge, he found what he had been looking for. "I-it can't be!" He stared in shock at the dark green and silver gundam below. What is she doing here? He didn't have time to wonder much else, for a half-dozen Aries were zooming his way. He had to back up or be knocked back.
Abdul was just close enough to see the attack. "Hurry up!! Master Quatre needs help!"
"We're right behind you!" Ahmad's mobile suit passed by him. "And ahead of you! Ha, take that, OZ!"

On the other side of the ridge, Alexa was sorely in need of the help Quatre would have provided. She wasn't able to pilot as well as she had when she first started out on this mission. Of course, she didn't know that assistance was merely a dune away.
Only a few Leos remaining! I...can do...this... She had lost count of the Aries, but it seemed they had all been destroyed by the sonic cannons -- one of which was now inoperable. Three more Leos fell before the other stopped responding to the fire command. Alexa cursed. She just couldn't reach the beam-cutlass...And the last two Leos were closing in fast. She cursed again and punched a button on the fore panel.
LunaAria's cockpit door fell open. Alexa leapt to the ground, weapon in hand. She landed safely but staggered under the weight of the double bazooka. One of the Leo pilots laughed at her. Alexa uttered a short whimper of pain, but managed to hoist the missile launcher onto her shoulder. "Try laughing this off!" She fired a shot at each Leo. The recoil sent her flying backward, but at least the Leos were destroyed...
As she lay sprawled on the sand, a strange twinge filled her chest. She focused on the feeling, in the silence listening to her heartbeat. The quiet was gradually filled with the unmistakeable tromping sound of approaching mobile suits. Alexa struggled to sit up, her panic causing her more pain. Too much sent her falling into unconsciousness, but not before she had a final thought of LunaAria surrounded by a small army of dark-beige mobile suits, and no one to press the self-destruct button.

* * * * *

Within the darkness a vague light blue form appeared. She struggled against consciousness for a few minutes then opened her eyes, blinking against the bright light. The blue form blurred then resolved itself into the shape of a blond-haired boy standing over her. A name came to mind. Quatre.
"Hello, angel...did you follow me to Heaven?" she murmured hoarsely.
He gave a relieved smile. "You aren't dead."
"Again, huh?" she muttered.
He stared at her in confusion. Alexa ignored the look and attempted to sit up, but her arm gave out abruptly. She cried out and fell back against the pillow, clutching the offended arm.
"Careful!" By reflex Quatre reached out to hold her shoulders. She jerked her head up to meet his gaze with intense eyes. Then she cried out, just then realizing she didn't have her sweater on. She shoved him away and belatedly pulled the blanket up over her bandaged chest and arms.
Quatre regained his balance but averted his eyes. "S-sorry...I--"
"Why worry," she interrupted, half to herself. "You already saw." She slowly lowered the blanket, then ran a hand over the other bandaged arm.
"They're for -- not wounds from this battle," he stammered, concerned but not sure what to ask.
"Not wounds at all. The bandages are just for support," she explained shortly.
Quatre felt too awkward to question the subject more. Instead he inquired gently, "How are you feeling, otherwise?"
She was silent for several heartbeats before she replied in a completely flat tone, "I'm alive."
Again he offered a confused glance which she again ignored. She tugged the blanket up once more. "Can I have my sweater back, now?"
He hesitated then quietly asked, "Are you embarrassed by the bandages?"
"They show that I am weak." Her voice was hard; she held the blanket up to her shoulders defensively.
"I'm...sorry..." Quatre backed up a few steps then turned toward a desk in the corner.
Alexa suddenly remembered something else. "Where is LunaAria?!"
"Safe in the Maguenacs' underground base, being repaired." He smiled as he came back over carrying a small bundle of clothes. "Um, the weather here is a bit warm for sweaters, so I thought you might want something more comfortable -- if you stayed." He set it down on the foot of the bed. "I hope they fit okay." He started for the door. "I'll...stop bothering you now...But I'll be around if you would like to talk or see the town." He smiled meekly, then went out, closing the door carefully behind him.
Alexa waited several long minutes before rising stiffly. She looked at the neatly folded bundle on the bed then glanced at the desk; her own clothes were neatly folded there. She stood and staggered her way over to them. She had to lean on the desk for support. She fished her tank top out and carefully slipped it on over the bandages; she was already wearing the matching shorts. Somewhat annoyed, she glanced from her clothes to the ones Quatre had left, twice, three times, then sighed aloud and limped back to the bed. Differing climates were such an inconvenience on Earth...

Quatre retreated to his private computer room, a jumble of thoughts going through his mind. Why hadn't he received an order to dispose of the OZ troops stationed around the desert? Too obvious, maybe. Could have given away this base. But then, why Alexa, of all the pilots... Maybe she had been closest at the time. Come to think of it, he wasn't certain where the others were stationed right now...
There was a knock on the door. "Come in," he called absently. The hinges creaked as the door opened. Quatre looked up to see a petite brownish figure framed by the light in the hallway. He blinked and the figure took a step forward, becoming Alexa, looking self-conscious in the light gray slacks and white button-down shirt he had left for her. "Alexa." He smiled shyly as he rose. "Are you feeling better?"
"I--" She abruptly showed great interest in the tan slippers, also left in her room, scuffing one foot against the carpet. "Yes...a little..." She met his gaze with a cautious one of her own.
"Ah -- here, why don't you sit down?" He motioned to the chair.
"Thank you, but I would rather stand." She walked past him to the window, looking out at the bright afternoon. He sank back down on the chair, at a loss. After a moment she spoke again, "Quatre, why are you fighting in this war? You don't seem to be the type for combat." She narrowed her eyes at the sky, listening for the tone in his reply.
"I want to help the colonies. They deserve peace."
"Everyone does."
"And I want to protect my family."
She turned, giving him a questioning look as she caught a thread of anger in his voice. He noticed and muttered, "My father didn't approve...He just doesn't understand that the gundams are necessary to bring peace."
Alexa leaned on the window sill, returning her gaze to the sky. "He will understand someday."
"I doubt that," Quatre murmured. He stared sadly at the desktop.
Alexa felt the tension, realizing that the boy pined for his father's approval. She spoke softly, "I wish someone had protected you."
"Huh..?" Quatre looked over at her, startled.
"You're so young...you deserve to live..."
"Alexa--?" He rose and stepped toward her.
"This suicide mission should be left to...those...without hope." Her voice had become hard.
"I don't understand what you mean. It was my choice--" He was reaching for her shoulder when she finally turned to look at him. Her eyes blazed with anger.
"I am here to help the colonies as well, but they come second to one important person. I took the mission to save my brother. He was supposed to be the pilot of LunaAria." She allowed herself a bitter smile. "But I forced him to flee to another colony under a new identity. He has such life in him, like you, and he deserves a better fate just as much!" The scowl returned to her visage. "And I had to take his place, or else another innocent would be lost. I wish someone could have done this for you, too, Quatre."
"Uh -- I --" he stared and stammered unintelligibly, finding himself feeling annoyed that she might think him incapable of fending for himself. Finally he sputtered out, "I'm sorry this happened to you..." He clumsily looked to the floor, maybe hoping the carpet would yield something more useful to say. All of a sudden he felt a pang in his chest. He hastily turned away, one hand going to his heart. What is causing this??
He threw a glance over his shoulder as Alexa spoke again. Her tone was frank. "Quatre...I accepted this mission because...I'm..." She gazed at the floor, then closed her eyes. "I -- I'm..."
"Alexa?" He turned and reached toward her again.
At that moment she uttered an alarmed cry and he was just in time to catch her as her legs gave out. Her eyes were full of pain when they met his frightened gaze. "Quatre...I am dying..."

* * * * *

The blond-haired boy paced impatiently outside the door to Alexa's room. He had sent for a doctor, but no word had yet come of the girl's condition. He kept feeling brief twinges in his chest, and it was making him nervous. Old questions sprung up; he wondered if he would ever get the chance to ask them now.
About twenty minutes later the doctor emerged from the room. "There isn't much I can do," he said quietly. "She says herself that her illness is incurable."
Quatre gave a start. "She said..?" He darted around the taller man to skid into the room, finding Alexa awake and sitting up, watching him.
"I'm sorry if I scared you..." She looked at him with pity.
"So this is what you meant by those without hope..?" He sat down on the side of the bed, every inch of him communicating sadness.
"My body is slowly shutting down on the inside and there is no way to stop it...This suicide mission is appropriate since I'm going to do die soon anyway."
Quatre abruptly rose, clenching his hands into fists. "Don't talk like that! We weren't sent to Earth just to die!" He turned to face her, his eyes pleading. "Have you gone to many doctors? I-I'm sure I could find someone who could help--"
"No, Quatre. Please don't concern yourself. I know it is true. There is nothing you or I can do about it." She met his gaze with a silencing stare. He had to turn away to hide a tear of frustration. "We will fight our best in this war...and you and I will answer to our seperate fates." She closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillow.
"Alexa...--!!" He then gasped -- that damn pain in his chest struck again, this time too sharply for him to react inconspicuously -- he staggered back and fell to one knee, clutching his heart.
"Oh...so you are the one..." Alexa croaked out weakly. In the next instant she was at his side, her bandaged limbs trembling as she reached to put her hands over his. "Quatre...I'm sorry I hurt you..."
His eyes opened, filled with pain and confusion. "Wh-what..?" She pressed one hand over his, placing the other over her own heart. Immediately the pain left him, but now she winced. "Alexa...w-what did you do?" He drew away, frightened now.
"I...think you know..." She smiled through a mask of pain. She rose, her left arm hanging limp at her side. She glared at it.
Quatre coughed something incoherent, scrambling to his feet. "N-no, I'm not sure what you mean..."
"Of course you do..." She winced and swayed where she stood, doubling over. Quatre grabbed her arm before she fell. She allowed him to guide her to the bed. "Just think for a moment," she murmured. "The day we met, and that night -- I don't suppose you dreamed anything odd?..I did." She looked off at something just to the left of the wall. "I dreamt I was fighting beside a strange gundam, and during the attack I was wounded. Here." She put her hands to her sides.
Where my ribs were hurt. His eyes darted around in uncertainty. "Yes, I -- I did dream. You...you hurt your leg that day, didn't you?"
"It comes and goes. Why?" Despite her question, she looked at him knowingly.
"I...understand now..." He gazed at the floor, whispering, "My spaceheart..."
She gave a gentle smile he didn't see, then pulled her legs up onto the bed, scooting back to lean against the pillow. "See? You do know."
"But you-!" He turned to her with a start.
"...I'm merely a weaker model. Hm-hm," she uttered a short chuckle and closed her eyes.
"Alexa..."
"I hope you are much stronger, Quatre. It isn't easy...you need to be brave...Quatre..."
"Mm." He felt numb. Something inside felt wrong. He was afraid. "Alexa?"
"Let me rest now, please, Quatre," she murmured faintly. He decided to assume she was still tired.
"Sorry," he whispered. He turned to leave, looking back at her sadly from the doorway. The uncertainty returned as he walked back to his computer room.

* * * * *

They watched the area around the desert carefully for the next few days, wary of OZ coming to avenge their destroyed troops. But all was quiet. The town went about its usual business undisrupted except for the occasional appearance of a pale girl in borrowed clothing who refused to take part in any celebration, and who merely went limping on her way after a cheerful citizen had attempted to convince her that she had a right to be treated as a hero as much as their own soldiers.
Quatre witnessed one such exchange when he happened to be watching from a second story window as a group of girls tried to persuade Alexa to go with them to the market. She kept turning away, but they were just as stubborn -- Quatre smiled at this thought and decided to go downstairs to see what would happen this time. Maybe Alexa would finally relax.
He cautiously peeked out of the doorway in time to see the four girls dragging a reluctant Alexa down the street. He chuckled and followed slowly so they wouldn't notice him. Once they reached the market, he stayed just around the corner whenever they stopped at a booth. They spent most of their time hovering over a table covered in scarves and thin veils of various colors.
"You should get one, Alexa, at least to put in your hair," one of the girls, Janna, commented. She fished out a blue veil and held it up to Alexa's face to see if the color suited her.
Alexa frowned and waved it away. "I have no money to pay for it."
A shorter girl, Lisha, giggled. "You are Quatre-sama's guest! You don't have to worry about that!"
Her reply was one she had often used before, so by nature it simply fell out of her mouth: "I don't want charity, either." The four girls instantly dropped whatever they were doing and stared at her. Well, that was a mistake...Everyone here holds Quatre in such high respect, that was bound to offend. She held her hands up in front of her to ward off their sudden tenseness. "I...didn't mean..." she stammered.
Uhoh, Quatre mused to himself, this could get ugly. He dashed from his hiding place, waving and grinning as he approached. "Alexa! I'm glad to see you're out and about more!"
Saved by our shadow, Alexa thought as she offered a weak smile.
"Quatre-sama, she--" Janna began in anger, but stopped short when he took the blue veil from her hand.
"She would look nice with this color," he interrupted, holding the scarf toward Alexa with a shy smile. "You would," he insisted softly, trying to alleviate her discomfort. She reluctantly took it from him, but only looked down at it, not sure what to do. Her hair was too short for it to look right; the other girls had long manes of dark hair that were complimented by the veils they wore. She considered for several moments then smiled awkwardly at them and wrapped the scarf around her waist. The girls giggled but Quatre only smiled. Alexa then pulled the veil off, looking down again.
"Alexa. Hm." Quatre tried to give an encouraging smile but she seemed too embarrassed.
She remained unresponsive, her eyes narrowed in thought. When she found the memory she had been searching for, her expression softened and she murmured, "No, angel, blue is your color." A faint smile edged onto her face. She flung the veil at him, intending for him to catch it, but the lightness of the fabric caused it to drift slowly down -- until it landed on his head, one end falling over his face. He blinked at her through the filmy material, then burst out laughing. The girls followed suit, and suddenly Alexa found a laugh bubbling from her own throat; an awkward, rusty sound, for she couldn't remember the last time she had truly laughed just for the fun of it.
A sharp pang in her side broke the sound just as she was starting to feel relaxed. She placed a hand on the spot. The best she could do was offer an apologetic smile to Quatre. He handed the scarf back to Janna then reached toward Alexa to support her. "Alexa, are you all right?"
"Don't worry, I'll be fine." She turned away, straightening and hoping he hadn't seen her wince.
She says that too often. Quatre frowned sadly.
Music drifted up the street toward them. Janna and Lisha traded glances, silently agreeing to help Alexa feel better, for Quatre's sake. "Alexa," the shorter girl began with a broad smile, "Come dance with us." She motioned in the direction of the music. The other three nodded and started down the street.
Alexa hesitated, throwing a cautious glance at Quatre. But he was smiling as well. "Go with them. Enjoy the day...No one here thinks you are weak. That's why it's so wonderful..." There was a wistful tint to his expression.
He can feel strong here, too, she thought. At last she gave in and nodded, then moved to follow Janna.
Quatre sighed as he watched her leave. I hope she can truly have fun for more than a couple of moments before she has to leave...She needs a happy memory to balance the pain of war... He looked to the ground tearfully, then turned to go on his own way.

* * * * *

In the darkness of midnight, Alexa sat up in bed holding her sweater. She needed its comforting feel just then. Jumbled dreams had woken her; she had been unable to discern any meaning from the various images: the destruction of a satellite and a strange mobile suit, someone screaming in anguish, faces of people she had never known...and the feeling of something unnatural penetrating her thoughts. The last left her cold and afraid.
She hugged the sweater then wiped away a tear. She hated feeling helpless and the thing planted such fear in her. She felt very alone. Her gaze wandered to the window, to the starry sky outside. Dmitri, wherever you are, live a good life for both of us, please...
Thinking of her brother brought another tear to her eye. She gave in and wept openly, yet stifling a sob lest someone here. That's right. I still have a mission to fulfill. Brushing off one last teardrop, she got out of bed and retrieved her clothes from the desk. Time to go back to her home battleground -- but with no time to think of how to thank Quatre for all his kindness. I only wish I could save him from this war, she thought as she slowly drew the door closed behind her. Clenching her jaw, she continued to herself, The best I can do for him is survive long enough to win so he won't have to fight...
She crept a fair distance down the hallway when her ears picked up the faint strains of a violin. As she walked on even more cautious than before, the slow melody touched the note of loneliness within her. Someone else was grieving this night. She finally reached the door that muffled the sad yet beautiful sound. Quatre.
She leaned against the wall across from the room, hugging her arms around her as she slumped to the floor, and just listened. Too soon the melody trailed off into silence. Alexa rose to leave, a whisper of a smile on her face. Thank you, friend. And yes, I will remember that I am not alone.

The catacomb-like hangar was empty of life except for one silent figure making its way through the forest of mobile suits -- and the figure being equally silent while following her.
Alexa found LunaAria in the last row of suits before the North Gate. Sandrock stood stoically beside it. She reached out to touch the Arabian gundam, mentally hoping for it to protect its pilot from harm.
Then she turned to her own mobile suit, gave it a weary smile, and was about to climb in when a soft voice called out, "Alexa, wait, please..."
"Quatre!" She whirled around, leveling a dismayed glare on him. "Don't you sleep?!"
"I -- I couldn't...I...heard someone crying..." His own mournful visage made her wonder if he had been able to pick up on her mental anguish, as well.
"Quatre..." Her tone had a slight edge to it.
He looked away. "I had a feeling you would try to leave tonight."
She smiled wryly. "Well, I can't impose on your hospitality forever.
"Are you sure you are well enough to travel?"
A sad frown answered him. "Quatre, you know I won't ever be well again. I can't just sit around pretending to get better. There is too much work to do."
"I wish...we didn't have to fight...I wish you had time to be well again..." He gazed tearfully down at the floor.
She now smiled blithely. "That's a nice wish, angel." She turned to LunaAria. "This war doesn't deserve you, Quatre. But good luck in all your future missions."
He clenched his fists, suddenly feeling angry. Despite everything they had talked about, she was still set on tending to her self-titled suicide mission. With a small growl of frustration, he dashed to a control panel on the wall to open the North Gate.
"Take care, Quatre," Alexa called over the comm speaker. "And try to be careful!"
He frowned at the berating note in her voice, and watched as LunaAria made its way up the ramp to the outside. "Goodbye...Alexa..."




[Additional Note: Alexa's dream inspired by GW ep 21]



Chapter Three: Distant Allies

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(c) 2000-2004 Autumn Loweck. This work may not be copied, distributed, or reprinted without the author's permission. Characters of Alexa and mech LunaAria are property of Autumn Loweck (aka Shiri) and may not be "borrowed" or mentioned in other works without notifying the author first. Characters of Quatre R. Winner, the Maguenacs,and the OZ organization belong to the creators of the GundamWing series, Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, Bandai, and whoever else in Japan involved in this most cool anime.

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